I have a better understanding of the words attention and awareness, all because of a bug bite. I woke up one morning this week and realized I had been bitten by a bug. It was so itchy! Talk about driving me crazy. I could not get my mind off the bite. I felt like a dog with flees, scratching endlessly.
Two hours after the discovery (still itchy) it was time to go play pickleball. I love pickleball, it is one of my favorite sports. I get to exercise, laugh with good friends, and at times take my aggressions out on a little yellow ball. I was excited to go play, but with I was not without some dread that my arm would itch through the whole game. Did that happen? Absolutely not. I was so involved with the game that I had no thoughts of the bug bite on my arm. After the game was over, I headed back to my home. By the time I walked into the house the itch was back and I was going nuts.
So why did I choose to share this story? I have been told by many of my teachers, “Attention brings awareness to the moment.” That is exactly what happened to me. Sitting in quiet, my attention became totally about the bug bite, yet playing pickle ball I did not even know I had a bite till the game was over because my attention was on the game. Enough said about the bug bite; I am going to get itchy just thinking about it.
For a moment, let’s take another situation. Let’s say you believe you lack ________. All your thoughts start with: I don’t have the money… I will never have the money… I will never be able to _________. Fill in the blank: lose weight… write a book… etc. Looking at life this way brings all your attention, and therefore your awareness, to what you don’t have or what you are unable to do. That sounds depressing, doesn’t it? We start seeing everything through a pair of glasses that prove these untruths to us.
Great movies are made from true stories of people who did not buy into what they were told, thereby never accepting it as truth for themselves. Did you see the movie Rudy? It is the true story of a kid that wanted to play college football at Notre Dame. Everyone including his family told him it would never happen, that it was impossible. He never accepted those words as truth. He did finally get to play one game at Notre Dame, however the trials and hardships he went through to get there were the real story. He never let those hardships stop him from his goal. Over the course of his four years, many of the people who thought he would never play football, earned a deep respect for him. This is a person who lived his passion and honored himself. His passion helped bring his attention to what needed to be done to make his dream a reality. There are many stories in which people let their passion rather than their lacking be their guiding light.
My point is to focus your attention on what is next in life without the buts. I want to be a doctor, but. But nothing! At times we all are fearful and become like deer in headlights. Let that but be a fleeting thought and move into how something can be accomplished. The but is our fear. I hate my job, but I don’t want to take the new job because it might even be worse. For me, it would be: I want to meditate more but I cannot keep my mind quiet. The truth be told, I don’t want to go through the frustration of learning to get quiet. I certainly will not become better at meditation with that attitude. It is better to ask the question, “How can I move forward in the direction I want to go?” Maybe the answer is to join a group, take private lessons, or make sure to sit every day. Meditation is like exercise. You have to strengthen the muscles, and you can’t do that without practice.
Putting your attention on something you want to do helps create the outcome you want. Diligence, discipline, and vigilance are needed. You can not lose weight and say, but first I want some ice cream.
You have to bring your awareness into each moment. Without judgment, decide if what is in front of you is going to move you towards your dream or away from it. Then follow through.
Theresa Contaxis 