Someone said to me, “Be careful what you pray for; it just might happen.” Well, I found out how true that statement is on my 60th birthday. As I was going to bed the night before my birthday, I said a quick prayer: Show me my ego. I woke up the next day, and from the minute I woke up I got to hear Screaming Mimi. As I mentioned in Sunday’s post about the second beatitude, Screaming Mimi is what I named my ego.
The day started, my phone rang, and I hear my mother on the other end of the line. I thought, Oh, how nice she is calling me early to say happy birthday. No. She called to tell me what she needed done for her. I got off the phone and Mimi said, “I can’t believe she forgot my birthday, doesn’t she care?” I talked to Mimi and said, “It’s okay, she is older and doesn’t always remember everything. Don’t feel bad. You are good.”
There was another phone call from a family member, and same thing happened. This time, I reminded Mimi that the person has been busy and is preoccupied with work. THEN… nothing, no phone called. Nothing. Again, Mimi wanted so badly to scream, and I once again talked to her, reminding her how wonderfully blessed I am and how loved I am. She quieted down again. I thought, Okay, had my lesson of the day and the rest of the day will be great. WRONG! If I could play a sound right now, it would be a loud buzzer.
My husband told me we were going to go to a wonderful dinner. Our daughter gave him the name of a place that was farm to table. Being such, the menu changed weekly. He looked at the menu from the week before and saw some things on it that he knew I would like. We got to the restaurant and were seated, a small, lovely, quaint place. The waitress came over with the menu and asked what we would like to drink. I wanted to have a basil lemon drop martini. I had one a while before and was looking forward to another. As she left the table, I started looking at the menu. There was only one thing on the menu that was not fish. I don’t eat fish! Screaming Mimi was getting angry and mumbling away. I said “Look Mimi, it might be only fish but there is a nice soup as an appetizer and chicken for dinner. The atmosphere is incredible and Dean and I are having wonderful conversations.” That did quiet Mimi down for a minute.
The waitress came back to the table and said, “Sorry, we do not have any basil today.” Before Mimi could act up, I said, “That’s fine; I will just have a lemon drop. Thank you so much.” As she left, a young gentleman dropped off the bread. It was homemade olive bread with lots of olives in it. My husband, Dean, looked and started laughing. Why? you ask. I HATE OLIVES! Once again, I reminded Mimi what a wonderful time we were having. The first course came out. Dean’s fish was fantastic, and so was my soup. I thought, Okay, Mimi will be quiet now. BEEP! NOPE!
The main course came out, and I started eating my chicken, there were nuts in it. I am allergic to nuts. Dean was ready to run across the street and get me Benadryl. I didn’t feel I needed it because I stopped eating as soon as I tasted a nut. I did not say anything because there was not another thing on the menu that I liked. Dean said, “My meal is great.” I said, “I am fine; I am looking forward to dessert.” They had a chocolate cake. “I love chocolate cake, all will be well” said Mimi. BEEP! WRONG!
The cake came to the table and the chocolate was so dark it was bitter. I did not want it, but Dean loved it!! “At least one of us had a great meal,” said Mimi. I once again reminded her what wonderful conversations we were having. Dean apologized for the night. My comment was, “This was beautiful. We had wonderful conversations, and I felt so connected to you. Not to forget I got what I prayed for”.
Mimi, on the other hand, wanted to complain but remained quiet. Then in silence I said another prayer: Thank you for answering my prayer, but I have had enough for tonight. When you open up to listening to what is coming out of your mouth, recognizing when the ego is talking, it becomes easier to make changes in your life that are positive. Our Higher Self only sees the good, the holy and the beautiful.
Have a sparkling day, and, as always, thank you for your time.
Theresa Contaxis 
Theresa, do I ever hear you 🙂
Funny you mention the Screaming Mimi ego too because my mother-in-law, who passed on a few years ago, was Mimi to her beloved granddaughter and Christmas was the holiday of holidays for her. She did it up like few human beings. My mom passed on about 1 month ago. I did so much ego forgiving and fear-facing over the prior 12 years of her sickness that even though Christmas was her thing too, I am deeply enjoying the holiday season without carrying grief, guilt, rage, or lonely emotions, in my mind. Doing the mental legwork feels tough at times but as the ego dissolves with forgiveness, the battle slowly but surely dissipates and you can love the moment, feel peaceful and enjoy life. Slowly, I am getting there.
As for the ego, I promise, it becomes more silent, flat out piping down in moments, as you train your mind and get deeper and deeper into your unconscious guilt. Yep, it feels tough to face, feel and release the unconscious fears we push out of awareness for decades because we are so afraid to step into the shadow. But, when you do, the fears lessen, the ego becomes a little more quiet, and whether you call it the gut, or, the intuition, or the Holy Spirit or Jesus, or any name really, the Voice for Love begins guiding you.
A Course in Miracles has been such a helpful training guide for revealing the ego and its devilish illusions to me, to forgive its fears and voice so I can listen to and follow Love’s guidance.
Keep up the great work. Thanks for sharing with us.
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