Communication

Last time, I talked about non-duality. As we learn and practice non-duality, another wonderful outcome begins to happen. Our ability to communicate from a place that is non-combative begins to open up to us.

How many problems could be avoided if we took a breath before we responded to anything that we perceived as confrontational. As I said before, it is not me against the world. It is knowing that we are not separate and working at responding in a way that we would want another to respond to us. When we approach any conversation without any assumptions, our conversations will be more peaceful.

I have had many conversations with a George that were filled with anger. Before we even began the conversations, I would predict how George was going to respond. I would be driving in my car thinking of my answer, preparing for George to be nasty and then preparing my next answer for George. What a waste of time and energy.

There is no way I could know how George would respond. I would say, “Well, I know in the past, George has always responded negatively. Therefore, it will be that way again.” Think about it. Just by saying that, I already set the mood for the conversation because I am ready for a fight. I already put that vibration into the atmosphere, defensive before we even begin to talk.

Putting that vibration into the room, George feels that I am defensive and ready to attack. George then responds defensively because they feel the vibration that I brought with me—a vibration not of peace but of fear. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Bringing the past into the present and reacting from that place, we judge. Non-duality leaves the room.

By responding from this place, I am already thinking, “I am right; you are wrong.” That is no way to have a conversation. Maybe, the first time I had a big disagreement with George, George just received terrible news. Did I ever ask, gently, “It seems you are angry about what I said. Would you like to talk about this?” I assumed the person would say, “Nothing’s wrong.” Who am I to predict the outcome? 

My job is not to try to control anybody. My only job is to learn about Love. To realize, when someone acts harshly to me, I have a choice. I can react in the same manner a statement was said to me, or I can see it as a call to Love. Since the way above never worked, I started trying this new way. I am called to Love. Not just when someone is loving to me but also when someone is not. That doesn’t mean you become a wallflower. It just means you offer a safe place to talk. If the person doesn’t want to, it’s okay. 

To be a wallflower and just agree, you are not respecting your own needs. To avoid conversation is also poor communication. For years, I kept my mouth shut when I was in a disagreement. Why did I do that? FEAR. I was afraid of the response, afraid of not being loved. Fear is a low vibration, and it is time to slowly move away from fear and despair and into the higher frequencies of love, peace, and joy. When you are ready for a fight at all times, we are staying at the lower frequencies. 

What to do about it? Now, I try to remember to question the still small voice within, “What would you have me say or do that can serve the healing of their heart? What in this conversation is triggering me? Try to connect with the person’s spirit and see the innocent Light within. Believe me, I know it is easier to do with some more than others. Don’t get frustrated, keep trying, and all of a sudden one day, you realize that things between you and George are more peaceful.

Or you realize that maybe you should go in different directions. No answer is wrong—non-duality. Some Georges I do not see anymore, but I did not leave them in anger. I silently sent my blessings and love and moved on. There are other George’s that I can be around. We have come a long way. It is not easy at all times but keeping the relationship is helping us to grow. George and myself. It is like The Course in Miracles says, “Giving and receiving are one.”

I will share more about communications in the future. Hope you have a thought-filled day. Thank you for your time today.