Where do I diminish my love? Well, like I said, I brought the past into the present. That left no room for a miracle. Where do I accentuate it? Living in the past, I had no time to accentuate love. The holidays can help us to pierce layers of pain, so the love can shine but we have to let go of the past. Without that, there is no room for the present. To get to the root of the pain, I had to let go of the fear and allow myself to feel the pain.
The insanity is that I would do the same thing over and over. Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Guess I was insane. I wanted to be free of pain but could not be until I would start looking at things differently. The freedom does not start until you switch your perspective from the external to the internal.
Each of us has different perceptions. How we choose to view life defines the speed in which we awaken.
I have allowed Drama Queen to take part in my life a great deal. We all know her, sad to say. We like having her around. She seems to make our life more interesting. But it’s not real; it is not Truth.
I would love to share some thoughts with you. To ponder, the mind has to quiet down and listen to the still, small voice within. You have to ask a question and wait to hear the answer. The answer might take time, but with practice, the response will come quicker.
Years ago while I was meditating, I asked myself the question, “What is the next thing I have to work on?” I had lots of ideas of what was going to come up from the still small voice but never expected what did come up. I heard, “You should learn to ponder and not react.” Well, that was a shock! Of course, Screaming Mimi yelled, “That is not what I want to work on!” However, I knew in my heart I had received the truth.
When I was little and my parents gave one of my other siblings something, I'd scream “That’s not fair! What about me?” My parents would then give in and give me something as well. This only led to someone else screaming the same thing, “That’s not fair! What about me?” The pie, according to the ego, will never be cut fairly. That is not true when you learn to operate from that part of you that is one with God/Source/Divine.
Driving a car on a highway can be stressful. You leave the house with just enough time to get to your doctor’s appointment. Halfway there, you see brake lights everywhere. I would think most people have had this experience in one form or another. (Maybe you’re not in a car but on a subway, bus, or train having difficulties.) Everyone around is getting agitated. People are cutting in front of people, horns are blowing everywhere, and cars are starting to drive in the breakdown lane.
I have been told by many of my teachers, "Attention brings awareness to the moment." That is exactly what happened to me. Sitting in quiet, my attention became totally about the bug bite, yet playing pickle ball I did not even know I had a bite till the game was over because my attention was on the game.
A few years back I went to a cemetery to learn about some interesting women buried there. I learned about an artist, abolitionist, mountain climber, undercover detective, a secretary and friend of Sitting Bull, a violinist, a singer, a Black doctor (who was the third woman to become a doctor in the US and first Black) Let’s not forget the notorious dancer who lifted her skirt above her knees when she danced.
Theresa Contaxis 