Just like a body builder who has to work day in and day out to build muscles, we, as spiritual beings, must develop our spiritual muscles. That takes practice and repetition. We need to be gentle with ourselves because, just like a body builder, it does not happen overnight.
It is amazing how often I have let the ego take control. I mean, it should be a no-brainer. Peace, Joy, Love, Guilt, Fear, or Shame. A major source of the ego’s off-balanced state is its lack of discrimination between the body and the thoughts of God/Source. So, when the ego runs the show, I leave the peace that surpasses all understanding. No wonder Paul said: I do what I don’t want and don’t do what I do want.
For years, I tried fixing others because I wanted to feel better. I would think, “If they were better, I would feel better.” I would then hear a buzzer go off in my head telling me that iI missed the mark. The mark, I have learned, is not about fixing others—it is about fixing ourselves.
I would like to take some time on the parable of the prodigal son from the gospel of Luke in the Bible. When I read this now, it is like there is a story under the story. Reading the parables today, I realize the process of their awakening took many years.
I have allowed Drama Queen to take part in my life a great deal. We all know her, sad to say. We like having her around. She seems to make our life more interesting. But it’s not real; it is not Truth.
Years ago while I was meditating, I asked myself the question, “What is the next thing I have to work on?” I had lots of ideas of what was going to come up from the still small voice but never expected what did come up. I heard, “You should learn to ponder and not react.” Well, that was a shock! Of course, Screaming Mimi yelled, “That is not what I want to work on!” However, I knew in my heart I had received the truth.
When I was little and my parents gave one of my other siblings something, I'd scream “That’s not fair! What about me?” My parents would then give in and give me something as well. This only led to someone else screaming the same thing, “That’s not fair! What about me?” The pie, according to the ego, will never be cut fairly. That is not true when you learn to operate from that part of you that is one with God/Source/Divine.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." [Bible, Matthew 5:10] I have not been looking forward to the last Beatitude because I feel it is so difficult. Who thinks being persecuted is a blessing? Certainly not me. Over the last couple of weeks, I have come into a better understanding of this ‘be happy’ attitude.
About five days ago, I started the exercise that I suggested last week. I only made it two days. The other three days, I had a complaint from the moment I woke up. So here I am, back at day one. Today I want to share some thoughts of what I have experienced. Maybe it will help you.
In my younger years I knew something wasn’t right. I intuitively knew there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing. That caused frustration, despair, and, finally, depression. One of the reasons I was so frustrated was that I could not understand why I wanted more, why I was hungry for more. I had a wonderful husband, three great children, a great house, and no worries for money. Why wasn’t I content? I could not figure it out.
Theresa Contaxis 