Growing up Catholic, I was terrified of my judgment after death. Because of that fear I became stagnant. What if I leave the Catholic Church? What would happen if I left the church? Worse yet, what if I started observing a religion that was not Christian? I was starting to think for myself but was terrified of the wrong decision. I did believe that Jesus was my teacher, my guide, my love, and my friend, but now I did not see him as the only Son. Talk about terror. What if I was wrong?
For years, I tried fixing others because I wanted to feel better. I would think, “If they were better, I would feel better.” I would then hear a buzzer go off in my head telling me that iI missed the mark. The mark, I have learned, is not about fixing others—it is about fixing ourselves.
Each of us has different perceptions. How we choose to view life defines the speed in which we awaken.
Step 2 in the plan was judgment. I want to add a point. There are times when I cannot let something that someone else has done go. I plan what I am going to say or do to them over and over in my head. Screaming Mimi is screaming, “You hurt me! I want you to feel bad for how you treated me!” She wonders how it could happen.
I have allowed Drama Queen to take part in my life a great deal. We all know her, sad to say. We like having her around. She seems to make our life more interesting. But it’s not real; it is not Truth.
I would love to share some thoughts with you. To ponder, the mind has to quiet down and listen to the still, small voice within. You have to ask a question and wait to hear the answer. The answer might take time, but with practice, the response will come quicker.
Judgment always involves duality or contrast. So complaints are judgments: “It is too hot. It is too cold.” We also judge the positive, “I think that person does wonderful things.” How do you know that person is doing wonderful things? Do you know their motivation? Maybe they are looking to better their career or to be looked up to. Are they trying to get something? You don’t know, nor do I.
Years ago while I was meditating, I asked myself the question, “What is the next thing I have to work on?” I had lots of ideas of what was going to come up from the still small voice but never expected what did come up. I heard, “You should learn to ponder and not react.” Well, that was a shock! Of course, Screaming Mimi yelled, “That is not what I want to work on!” However, I knew in my heart I had received the truth.
mean "eat" metaphorically. We consume the food we eat and our body consumes the words we say. Our body and mind listen not only to what others say but also what we say about everything. If plants and water are affected, it is an easy conclusion that we are too.
Forgiveness is a necessity for a joy-filled life. When you choose not to forgive, the whole body contracts. Take a moment and think of someone you have a grievance with. Feel it in your body. Is it truly worth it? You’re not hurting them by holding onto it—you're hurting yourself and those you love who take in what you are saying about another.
Theresa Contaxis 